For Jane and Matthew Grayshon, life looked good. Matthew was studying for ministry in the Church of England. Jane was a research sister, a midwife involved in academic work: a job she loved and which allowed her to support Matthew. But after a routine operation for appendicitis, an undiagnosed abscess burst, leading to a severe bout of peritonitis followed by pelvic inflammatory disease. Operation followed operation. Jane had to face the fact that she would never bear children. I have written this book for people who are broken-hearted, captive to their circumstances, or grieving for what they have lost. I have written for those who feel poor emotionally, spiritually or physically, Jane explains. This book is about my search for the goodness of God, about not finding what I was looking for, but finding what I was not expecting.