In a better world, Pseudonymous Bosch would be a famous author, his piercing eyes staring out from magazine covers, his brilliant words quoted in every newspaper. Sadly, I - I mean he! - cannot even tell you his name. Contrary to what you may have heard, this has nothing to do with gambling debts or angry bookies. No, the reason Pseudonymous must remain anonymous is...well, it's a secret. I - I mean he! - can't tell you anything about it. Except this: there is absolutely no truth to the claim that he is really a certain miserable wretch of a writer in Los Angeles. That man is a fraud. And his moustache is much less bushy than mine. Believe nothing he says.