This guide to tantric sex is written by Dr. Judy" Kuriansky, an internationally renowned clinical psychologist and sex therapist, radio advice host, TV personality, popular lecturer, seminar leader, newspaper columnist, and author of top-selling books, including The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy Relationship, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating, Generation Sex, and others in Japan and China
Complete Idiot's Guide to Tantric Sex by Judy Kuriansky
The Complete Idiot's GuideA (R) to Tantric Sex covers every aspect of this ancient practice, from the sacred beliefs of Tantra which form the basis for Tantric loving to the process of preparing for and practicing Tantric techniques. The book is broken down into six parts, including: the secret sexual world of Tantra; preparing your mind for Tantric sex; preparing your body for Tantric sex; preparing your spirit for Tantric sex; the art of Tantric self-love; and the joy of Tantric sex.
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The Complete Idiot's Guide to Tantric SexA Personal Note About My Own Journey I am deeply grateful to everyone who has been part of my evolution at allstages of my life that has led to my latest reawakening into the more spiritualworld. I'm amazed to reflect on some events that happened decades ago andare manifesting lately, consistent with the path of tantra. Like my dearchildhood friend Rhea Ross insisting that I go with her to study yoga with SwamiSatchidananda and Swami Muktananda over 30 years ago, when doing so was avantgarde among people I knew. I've since visited the samadhis (graves) ofthese masters. Years ago too, spiritualist Judy Hevenly insisted I come with herto receive shaktipat from Gurumayi. And it was ages ago that I went to classeswith Mantak Chia, Chinese master of the Taoism of sex (now living and teachingin Thailand), which proved to be my introduction into this tantric path that Ihave so intensely studied in more recent years. Also many years ago, my friendLaurie Sue Brockway (a true goddess and now a minister who also works with theRed Cross, as I do, during emergency disasters) kept telling me how "wejust have to go to California to take one of Charles Muir's workshops inthis terrific new thing called 'tantric sex.'" I've sincebeen to many of Charles' seminars and his teacher trainings, and become agood friend of this gifted teacher. For years in between those early tastes of tantra and now, I followed a mosttraditional professional path as a senior research scientist at the New YorkState Psychiatric Institute at Columbia Medical School. I did work onschizophrenia, depression and cross-cultural psychotic disorders with abrilliant British psychiatrist, Dr. Barry Gurland. In the late 1960s and early1970s I became the protege of the first professionals working inwhat was then the "new" field of sex therapy, who were collaboratingwith the "grandfather" and "grandmother" of sex therapy,Masters and Johnson. This led to becoming one of the founders of the firstmedical-centered based organization of sex therapists; working on thesub-committee about sex for the American Psychiatric Association'sDiagnostic and Statistical Manual, led by the eminent Robert Spitzer; runningwomen's groups to teach women to have orgasm in 10 sessions with anotherpioneer in sexology, Dagmar O'Connor; and with my co- therapist and dearfriend Dr. Larry Sharpe, writing some of the first professional papers aboutdiagnosis, evaluation, and outcome of sex therapy. Along the way, I got my Ph.D.in clinical psychology at N.Y.U. and was fortunate to study "The Psychologyof Love" with my supervisor and his wife, Irv and Sue Sarnoff. The next phase of my work in the field of sex became more public as the hostof radio call-in advice shows. This started over 20 years ago, on WABC Radio,but some of you are most familiar with my national radio show"LovePhones." Everyone has their favorites of the LovePhones radiocalls, and so many of them come alive in the stories in my book GenerationSex. I am forever grateful to everyone who shared their touchingstories-crying and laughing together-with my "radio family,"co-host Chris Jagger, Badger, Jimmy, Sam, and Steve Kingston who started itall. We talked about tantra on the radio years ago! How glad I am to have beenable to do that-to have everyone using terms like "goddess" and"honoring," and to have broken radio ground by having the first sacredspot massage and female ejaculation to happen on radio airwaves (by tantraexperts and friends Carla Tarantola and Sasha Lessin). A A(c) Copyright Pearson Education. All rights reserved.
Table of Contents
I. AN INTRODUCTION TO TANTRIC SEX. THE SPIRITUAL PATH TO SACRED LOVE. 1. What Is Tantric Sex? What Is Tantra? Sacred Sex the Tantric Way. A Powerful Chemical Cocktail to Bliss. Find and Follow the Pathways of Energy. How the West Revived Eastern Tantric Sex Practices. Sacred Sex. Myths About Tantra and Tantric Sex. Why Tantric Sex Now? Twelve Benefits of Tantric Sex Practices. Are You Ready for Tantra? The Ten Pledges of the Tantric Sex Path. 2. The Basics: Yes, Yin Yang, Yoni, and Yab Yum. Yin and Yang: What Is Male and What Is Female? Achieving Balance and Union of Opposites. Position Yourselves for Love in Yab Yum. Sex as Energy-Not Activity. Empowered to Say "Yes" or "No". Taking Care of Your Body Temple. 3. Spinning Your Wheels and Breathing to Ecstasy. The Importance of Your Breath. Why We Don't Breathe Correctly. The Chakra Wheels. Breathe Through the Chakras. The Third Eye as Window to the Soul. Making All the Connections from Coccyx to Crown. Your Inner Smile. Be Both Participant and Observer. 4. Awaken and Worship the God and Goddess in You. What Is "God/Goddess"? Integrate All Your Roles. Seeing Beyond the Superficial. The Importance of Worshipping Each Other. Clearing Up Confusion About Gods and Goddesses. Getting to Know the Ancient Goddesses. Gods from Different Cultures. Modern-Day God/Goddess Icons. Gods and Their Goddess Counterparts. The Essence of the God/Goddesses Within You. Using Deities in Your Sex Practice. Festivals and Other God/Goddess Gatherings. Temples. II. GETTING STARTED IN SACRED SEX. 5. Prep Your Body Temple of Love. Your Body as the Bridge to Bliss. The Two Colors of Tantra: Merging the Sexual and the Physical. The Yoga Connection. Love Muscle Exercises for Men and Women. Follow a Conscious Workout. The Spinal Tap. Food for Thought: You Are What You Eat. 6. Amp Up or Damp Down Your Sexual Energy. Ways to Calm Down. Air Yoga as a Stress Reducer. Amping Up for Good Loving. Ask Your Partner for Help. 7. Setting the Stage for Your Tantric Nights of Pleasure. Making Time Enough for Love. The Conscious Cleanup. The Tantric Bathing Ritual. God and Goddess Dress Up. Your Ideal Romantic Setting. Prepare Your Sacred Lovemaking Space. Honoring Rituals to Sanctify Your Space. Going Out on Your Tantra Date. 8. Practices for Beloveds to Reach Bliss What Is Bliss? Synchronizing Your Energy. Stimulating the Senses. Call It Sacred: Finding Your Tantric Love Triggers. Sex in the Flow Lane. Advanced Body Exploration. Making Sacred Water Magic. Staying in Bliss: The Afterplay. 9. Breaking Through Blocks to Bliss. When Big Emotions Burst Forth. Making Time for Each Other. Diffusing Your Anger. Overcoming Feelings of Separation. Balancing Your Male and Female Energies. Frustration Over Who's on Top. Getting Past Desperation and Attachment. Purging Panic and Obsessions. More Ways to Clear Blocks. III. MAKING MAJOR PROGRESS ON THE PATH TO ECSTACY. 10. Giving Her the Best Nights Ever. The Value of Taking Turns at Pleasure. What Do Women Really Want? Boudoir Basics. Night of Pleasure 1: Promises to the Goddess in the Pleasure Palace. Relaxing Her. Night of Pleasure 2: Getting Closer. The Resolution Phase. Night of Pleasure 3: When Love and Love Liquid Flow. 11. Giving Him the Best Nights Ever. Night 1: Taking Your Man into Tantric Bliss. Preparing Him for Pleasure. Leading Him to the Tantric Love Temple. Preparing Him for His Night of Love. The Tantric Shiva Massage, a Time to Surrender. Languishing Over His Lingam. The Second Pleasure Night. The Third Night of Pleasure. 12. Make Lovemaking Last ... and Last ... and Last. How Long Is He Supposed to Last? When It's All Over Too Fast. His Reaction to Three-Minute Sex. Why Men Come So Fast. The Stages of the Male Sexual Response Cycle. Traditional Control Tactics. "Sealing the Penis," or Sexual Kung Fu. Tantric Sex Versus Other Methods of Prolonging Lovemaking. The Transmutation Breath. Tips on How She Can Help. If He Ejaculates Before She Is Ready. 13. A New View of Love, Sex, and Orgasm: The Big TTO. What's Love Got to Do with It? A New View of Orgasm and the Sexual Response Cycle. How to Have the Big TTO. Taking Sex Drive to a New Level. Connecting the Sexual Energy to Other Energy Centers. Where Do You Feel the Big O? Alphabet Orgasms. 14. Getting Fit Together for Tantric Sex. The Importance of Physical Activity Together. The Love Muscle Exercises for the Man and the Woman. Partner Pelvic Thrusts. I Could Have Danced All Night. An Eight-Step White Tantra Twosome Routine. Bedroom Bodybuilding. Yogaboxing. IV. GOING DEEPER: MORE LOVE AND BETTER SEX THAN YOU IMAGINED. 15. Make It Juicy with Magic and Play. The Spirit of Play. Dancing for Each Other. Feasting on Your Love. Games Lovers Play. Creating Sex Magic Through Tantric Sex. Toys for Tantric Play. Gifts from the Heart. Where to Find Tantric Love Toys and Gifts. 16. Advanced Tantric Lovemaking Techniques. What Makes a Practice "Advanced"? Advanced Passion Positions and Acts. Mudras. Advanced Visualization in Tantric Sex. Advanced Tuning In: You, Too, Can Be Psychic! Eight Steps in Deity Yoga. Base Chakra Pleasuring. Advanced Aids in Tantric Play. Entering the Time and Space Machine. 17. Sexual Healing to Set You Free. What Is a Sexual Healing? Who Can Be a Healer? What Happens in a Healing. Healing the Pain of Abuse. Handling Emotions in a Healing. Rules for the Healer. Rules for the Receiver. At the End of a Session. Are Healings Effective? 18. Sex, Song, and Videotape. Tantric Music. Tantric Videos That Tantalize as Well as Teach. Tantra-Related Workouts to Watch. Related Videos on Sex. Tantra on Radio, TV, the Silver Screen, and the Internet. V. DATING AND MATING TANTRA STYLE. 19. Singles, Sex, and Tantra. You Are the Beloved. Meeting Your Match. Finding Your Soul Mate on the Tantric Path. Two Love Lessons You Wish You'd Learned When You Were Young. Safe Sex When Practicing Tantra. 20. Tying the Knot Tantra Style. The Unique Aspects of a Tantric Marriage Ceremony. Special Ceremonies for Tantric Lovers. 21. When He Resists or She Strays. When One of You Is Convinced But the Other Isn't Sure. When a Relationship Has to End. Tantric Tolerance. What to Do About Tantric Sex Affairs. The Energy Booster Checklist. Part 6 - Tantra for Everybody in the New Millennium 22. A Lifetime of Tantra: Learning to Love at All Ages. Want to Feel and Look Young Again? Facing the Changes. Filling the Empty Nest. When a Partner Dies. Tantra for College Students. Tantra for Teens. Healthier Kids When You're a Tantra Parent. How the School System Can Be Tantric. The Payoff of Sensory Training at All Ages. 23. Lifestyles and Situations: Tantra for All Relationships. Cybertantra. Seeing Beyond the Physical. The New World of Sexuality. Tantric Love for Those with Disabilities. Healing Relationships with Your Parents. Tantra with Your Pets. Tantra with Your Plants. 24. Which Path Is Right for You? The Importance of Guidance. Finding the Right Guide. The Different Traditions of Sacred Sexuality. Osho: The Spiritually Incorrect Mystic. Different Trainings. Types of Healers and Other Practitioners. Starting and Keeping Up Your Practice. Costs. Do Tantra Weekends Work? New Trends in Tantric Experiences. Integrating Tantric Sex with Other Techniques. 25. A Healing Force for Now and the Future. You Are Not Alone. Sending Energy, Especially in the Face of Tragedy. Healing the Cycles of Abuse. A Healthy Way to Get High. Tantra as a Healing Force in the Face of Illness. How Tantra Promotes Tolerance and Diversity. How Tantric Sex Can Help Heal the World. Appendixes. Appendix A: Glossary. Appendix B: Workshops, Web Sites, Teachers, and Tantra Communities. Appendix C: Tantric Tools. Index
Complete Idiot's Guide to Tantric Sex by Judy Kuriansky
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