Prepare to meet a tortoise on a trampoline (boing!), a cat who bites back (ouch) and a poor little rich dog (whimper). You'll find out what all the fashionable ferrets are wearing at the moment - and how your average cat reacts to being served the wrong brand of cat food. MI-AOW!

The speed cameras are flashing

But they can't identify

A hamster in the fast lane

As he roly-polys by.

No more tickles on the tummy,

No more crummy little cage.

One hundred miles an hour at least,

Fuelled by hamster rage.

(from 'There's a Hamster in the Fast Lane' by Brian Moses)