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The only book that tells you how to get elected, how to be a minister and - when the time comes - how to give evidence at a tribunal of inquiry. From the basics (How to Shake Hands) to the complex (How to Accept a Bribe), this is a no-holds-barred guide to political success. How to pick a party to join, how to explain economic booms and slumps and - should the occasion arise, Ten Things to Say to the Leader of the New World Order. How to Fake Sincerity, What Not to Say About the North, How to Deal With the Media and Other Scum - and not forgetting, How to Be No More Racist Than is Strictly Necessary. 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