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All present and incorrect' - Ian Rankin  'Bursting with fun, puns, and shenanigans' - Jill Mansell  ---------------------------------------  Jilly Cooper's legendary hero returns!  Rupert Campbell-Black, all-conquering racehorse owner-trainer and handsomest man in England, is in the darkest of places. His adored wife, Taggie, is about to undergo chemotherapy. His beloved leading stallion has been assassinated.  Now his daughter Bianca is badgering him to buy into a failing local football club, Searston Rovers, so he can sign up her superstar striker boyfriend, Feral Jackson, and he and Bianca can return home from Perth to look after Taggie.  Rupert dislikes football and his first impressions of Searston are distinctly unfavourable. But as their new and indelibly competitive Chairman, he won’t stand for anything less than an Everest climb to the top of the Premier League.  With the help of the club’s ravishing and adorable secretary, Tember West, and his sassy Press Officer, Dora Belvedon, he becomes increasingly fond of his riotous mix of players, despite bawling them out whenever they face defeat.  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'A magnificent storyteller' Guardian  'Few writers have brought such joy to the nation' Harper's Bazaar  ‘Jilly Cooper's non-fiction is just as entertaining as her novels’ Pandora Sykes  ‘Being prepared is the secret to a more harmonious Christmas. If Joseph had booked a room in advance, Jesus would not have been born in a stable.’  Christmas is looming.   Will your mother-in-law present you with yet another hideous jersey this year? How are you going to cope with Granny's dog or the ghastly in-laws? Has the row about where to spend the holiday already started, though summer is not yet a distant memory?  Never fear: Jilly Cooper has the answer to everything.  Whether you should seek refuge in the cooking sherry or suggest a wholesome family walk, Jilly offers sound but often hilarious advice about how to get through the roller-coaster ride that is the festive season.  Praise for the legendary Jilly Cooper:  'Cooper was a master at serving relatability [...]. 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