So there you are, gorgeous, gifted and a brain the size of a planet and what do you have to put up with? Idiots, morons and people so ugly they ought to have a license to go outside. What should you do? Smile sweetly and put up with them? Gaze into the middle distance and talk about the weather? No. Put them right, sort them out and let them know where they really stand in the food chain of life. Pick any of the pithy put-downs in this little book and you'll never need to be nice to anyone ever again. This Little Book of Abuse: for life's little annoyances.... and their parents.

'The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead'

'Next time you cross the road, don't look'

'Of course you're special. You went to a special school right?'