In this playful, witty and highly original look at English football, David Winner, author of the acclaimed Brilliant Orange, journeys to the heart of Englishness and sheds new light on the true nature of a rapidly changing game that was never really meant to be beautiful. He shows how Victorian sexual anxiety underlies England's many World Cup failures. He reveals the connection between Roy Keane and a soldier who died in the Charge of the Light Brigade. And, he demonstrates how thick mud and wet leather shaped the contours of the English soul.