"Tufnell! Can I borrow your brain? I'm building an idiot." Australian fan to England spinner Phil Tufnell "Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow have split up. Apparently Sheryl has met a guy who has a car." Jay Leno "Even Jesus Christ wasn't liked by everyone. What hope is there for me?" Jose Mourinho Playing sport, watching it and commentating on it have all provoked endless mirth and some unforgettable rhetorical flourishes, the best and most enduring of which can be found here in the sparkling Biteback Dictionary of Humorous Sporting Quotations. Fred Metcalf has collected these laugh-out-loud funny contributions from the world of (mostly) athletic competition. Sardonic observations and unintended gaffes connected by a love (and sometimes hate) of anything from Cricket to Climbing and Fishing to Football make this book an essential companion for anyone with even a passing interest in the hobbies and games that we call 'sports'.