Psychotherapist Harriet Goldhor Lerner uses examples from case studies, and stories from her own life, to illuminate the steps that women can take towards a more solid self and a more intimate connectedness with others. This book challenges and enlarges any definition of intimacy as the author provides a sound framework for understanding how intimate relationships, with friends, family and partners, operate and how we get in - and out - of trouble with the most important people in our lives.