Her stories are filled with charming crabbiness-of cooking early in the day for the two kids who eat only six things, then later for the husband who eats only about . eight things, none of which share common ground with those first six; of inviting her . mother-in-law for dinner and handing her an apron; of suffering H.A.S.-Hostess Anxiety Syndrome-having the book club over and picking The Good Earth because . it matches the neighborhood's great new Chinese take-out, so no cooking involved! D She wants to give a Nobel Prize to the person who invented bagged salad, and she D recounts a wonderful story of making homemade turkey pot pie for the very first time-its crust tasted like rosemary-scented Play-Doh-to serve to Richard Gere and : Cindy Crawford. . But crabby or not, she's found a way to make it work, and work brilliantly. THE CRABBY COOK is about how to change your food-i-tude-no more garnish guilt, for example, and why "sort of homemade" is just as good as homemade (i.e., knowing when to go all out with Pain-in-the-Ass Minestrone and when to settle for the almost-as-tasty Lazy-Ass Minestrone). It's how to identify those Miracle Foods-the stuff that everyone loves, like Gobble-It-Up Turkey Chili and Tony's Rigatoni. And even a whole survival guide-despite her H.A.S.-to entertaining, including drinks, Whore's Doorves, Dip One and Dip Two, and My Big Fat Greek Platter.