What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded?
He sent on his subs.

God and the devil were having an argument, and Satan proposed a football game between heaven and hell to resolve the dispute.
God, in his eternal goodness, pointed out that it wouldn't be a fair match because all the 'good' players go to heaven.
The devil smiled, replying, 'Yes, but we've got all the refs.'

Football is obviously very serious business - like when that disallowed goal was 'never off-side', and that was 'totally a dive' - but it's a funny old game really. This compendium of hilarious jokes will help you see the lighter side when your team is showing you up, and give your mates a good chuckle at the celebrations when they win.