Parents want what's best for their children - they spend hours driving them to swimming classes or piano lessons; they scrimp on their own personal needs to buy them a better education. But underneath, what parents really want may be quite different - there is often a hidden message which is more harmful than helpful. A parent who subtly and unconsciously uses his or her child as a means to saving a marriage, or who feels the child owes a debt of gratitude, is unlikely to find this book comfortable reading. Yet virtually all parents tend to fall into such traps from time to time, and the practical advice in this book is aimed at every son and daughter, to every father and mother, and to all adults who want to achieve significant change and true maturity.