How to Speak Dutch-Ified English by Gary Gates

Gary Gates is a Pennsylvania Dutchman from Lebanon County, where all the nonsense originates. When he opens his mouth, everyone knows where he's from. Gary is a performer who has appeared at festivals, fairs, colleges, libraries, corporate banquets, comedy clubs, writers groups, resorts, and on radio and television hundreds of times. His Pennsylvania Dutch comedy is raucous fun, sweet enough for family entertainment while still being salty enough to keep adults and children laughing. He enjoys performing and celebrating his distinct background with his fellow Dutchmen, as well as sharing it with non-Dutch people, who have reacted to his show with laughter.

Some have dubbed him the new Professor Schnitzel, even Pennsylvania Dutch country's Mark Twain. Several people just refer to him as the best windbag they've ever heard.