Philip Horkman is a happy man, the owner of a pet store called The Wine Shop, and on Sundays a referee for a local kids' soccer league. Jeffrey Peckerman is the proud and loving father of a star athlete in the girls' ten-and-under soccer league, and he's not exactly happy with the ref.

The two of them are about to collide in a swiftly escalating series of events that will send them running for their lives, pursued by the police, soldiers, subversives, bears, revolutionaries, pirates, and a black ops team that does not exist. Where all that takes them you can't even begin to guess, but the literary journey there is a masterpiece of inspiration, chaos, and unadulterated, well, lunacy. And they might even learn a lesson or two along the way.