This book has been replaced by The Lost Art of Listening, Third Edition, ISBN 978-1-4625-4274-1.

.- What is true listening and why, the author asks, has it become a near-rarity in modern life? Nichols shows how to utilize this [art] to improve and repair relationships with spouses, lovers, relatives, children, friends, and colleagues, and even how to boost one's own 'listenability.' He also explains what listening isn't, explaining why people don't listen and listing obstacles to listening (especially defensiveness owing to emotional overreaction). Humor, true life examples and simple exercises make this a practical and even entertaining self-help guide. --Publishers Weekly, 2/18/2009ff Powerful and informative. --Contemporary Psychology, 2/18/2009ffI think readers from every walk of life--lay readers and mental health professionals alike--will find something to like here, something that really will turn on a lightbulb or two, something that can help us all get along a bit better and listen a bit more artfully.--counsellingresource.com, 6/2/2012

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Introduction

I. The Yearning to Be Understood

1. Did You Hear What I Said?: Why Listening Is So Important

2. Thanks for Listening: How Listening Shapes Us and Connects Us to Each Other

3. Why Don't People Listen?: How Communication Breaks Down

II. The Real Reasons People Don't Listen

4. When Is It My Turn??The Heart of Listening: The Struggle to Suspend Our Own Needs

5. You Hear Only What You Want to Hear: How Hidden Assumptions Prejudice Listening

6. Why Do You Always Overreact?!: How Emotionality Makes Us Defensive

III. Getting Through to Each Other

7. Take Your Time?I'm Listening: How to Let Go of Your Own Needs and Listen

8. I Never Knew You Felt That Way: Empathy Begins with Openness

9. I Can See This Is Really Upsetting You: How to Defuse Emotional Reactivity

IV. Listening in Context

10. We Never Talk Anymore: Listening Between Intimate Partners

11. Nobody around Here Ever Listens to Me!: How to Listen and Be Heard within the Family

12. From Do I Have To? to That's Not Fair!: Listening to Children and Teenagers

13. I Knew You'd Understand: Being Able to Hear Friends and Colleagues

Epilogue