Application for Employment

I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company and hereby apply for the replacement of the deceased manager.

Each time I apply for a job, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case I have caught you red-handed and you have no excuse because I even attended the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead and buried before applying.

Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his death certificate.

Crap CVs is a hilarious compilation of the worst job applications imaginable, including overly-honest cover letters, embarrassing typos, mortifying personal revelations, awkward interview questions, misplaced self-confidence, self-aggrandizing gibberish, blatant truth-twisting and, of course, outright lies.