At the heart of fashionable London is the Crypto-Amnesia Club - epic theatre of the style wars, where life brushes against the contours of a haircut and labels vie for seasonal supremacy. This mausoleum of self-consciousness is reluctantly managed by Merril, a lost soul who loathes the guests it is his job to please. Terrorized by manners, mannequins and mange-touts, Merril searches through the emotional debris of designer London for a reason why he never bothered to fall in love.